What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
