Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
