I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she peed on how many people?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
