I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
