But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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