In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
