I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
