I'm really into asian looking animals
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
