With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
