the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
