I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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