Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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