They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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