I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
