East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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