Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
