There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
