I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
