I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize