look no pants
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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