I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
