I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
