so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
