Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
