Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
