the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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