Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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