So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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