I accidentally had phone sex last night
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It's not a walk of shame if you run
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
