I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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