I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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