I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
