hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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