im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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