Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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