i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
