I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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