I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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