I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
