He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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