In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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