I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
