I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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