yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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