I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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