Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
