omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
