just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
