I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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