I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
