I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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