I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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