Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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