Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
