I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
