I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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