Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
