Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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