no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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