Sry I called you an 8
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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