You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
