You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
