you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
