But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
operation harelip BJ is a go
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
